restless..

dunno why, but somehow i feel really restless...cant sit down..cant have a moment of peace...i feel like i am hitting dead end constantly..i really dont know where to go now from ere...everytime i thought i found the answer and my feeling start to accept it, it turns out to be a dead end also..no way forward....

it is really confusing when i dont exactly know what am i gonna do with my freakin future..i dunno what my strength really are, i dunno where my interest lies and i seriously dont have any idea if i can overcome my weaknesses which are now the very reason why i cant seem to move forward...

i dont know which course to pick so i wont suck royally in the future since i really dont think i can afford to fail when a-really-expensive-scholarship-that-i-need-to-pay-back-if-my-cgpa-fall-below-3.5 is at stake...everyone keep on asking me what is it that i like? what is it that i wanted to do? the problem is I DO NOT HAVE ANY IDEA AT ALL!! i am used to be told what to do for decision as important as this, but now i, myself have to make that decision..and now i am stuck, not knowing what else to do...

everytime i am thinking of doing engineering, i know deep in my heart i do adore physics but i dont think its my strongest science subject..when i consider taking actuarial science, my heart ached since i'll be abandoning sciences subject which have always been part of me, but i get to learn math in a majorly overdose which is the bright side cause i am tatally in love with math and it was one subject that i am confident enough i could bear, if not excel, i probably wont fail..still, i cannot deal with the humanities subject..

*sigh*