new post

there are 2 things going around in my mind right now, but still, i dont have time to properly write about it so, lets just put up the title for my next two post so this will be the motivation for me to really write about it....

Delta Force

her royal highness outing to KLCC with 3 knights ^^

better start packing up..going back to selangor today...*sigh* #penatnyer...

galau

haha..the post title seems weird, dont u'oll think so too? actually its a new indonesian vocab that i learned yesterday..the meaning was somewhat i thought as penasaran a while back. but then i know penasaran actually means curious..so what does galau means? its a condition when u are feeling a lot of different emotion at the same time and everything got jumbled up and you have NO IDEA at what exactly u were feeling at that time, all u know was that sick feeling in your stomach and somehow your heart seems strain..i do mean biological heart...it still goes thump-thump but in a different rythm which you are not familiar with and is changing every minute..

why am i writing about this?
basically thats how i feel right now, and i have been feeling this way for quite a while now...whats even more frustrating was i have NO IDEA at all why am i feeling this way, i have vague assumptions but nothing did fit properly....maybe because i kept lots and lots of secret...a thing that i tell one person, might be too sensitive for another person...so certain people, i just told certain thing, thus they dont really know the whole picture, thus i cannot actually make them understand..maybe, everyone would say, its easy to solve my problem, pick one person whom u trust, and dump it all to them without hesitation...but somehow, everytime i wanted to go into full gear and start rambling, my sel-preservation kicked me right in my gut and stopped all the thoughts midsentence, thus its not successfull..and maybe i always try to say what i thought the other person wanted to hear, or maybe just i'm afraid they will be judging..


well, i know, i'm being a brat and difficult and all when there are always people who would certainly be there for me..but then, I cannot say a word when prompted..i really didnt know...now, i think, the only problem is me..and only me...fara!! pull your act together and start growing up please!!! stop hurting because of stupid little things...MOVE ON!!!

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falling is easy, and the thrill u had was intoxicating but once u hit the ground, the pain will last for a long time and u might not recover..