Call u mine

I came across this song while watching The Romantic & Idol episode 2, first time hearing it, i immediately fall in love with this song..it has this mysterious allure which i can't comprehend..i dont know whether its the melody that's captivating, or just the lyric was plain sincere..honestly, i dont know..why dont u be the judge and listen to it urself...



Can i call u my own,
And can i call u my lover,
Call u my one and only girl...

Can i call u my everything,
Call u my baby,
U're the only one who runs my world...





P/s: dearest mkisa, i want to lisen to this with u.. :)(;

girlfriends!

hey all...

i'm pretty much excited today...cz I've finally have a passport! I know that its not such a big deal, but at least it is for me..i am supposed to get my passport done later since we'll be going for umrah by next year february, but somehow I have to speed up the process since I'll be going to cambodia during early december. I would say that, its my luck as to be given this kind of oppurtunity. it is actually a CSR program under KPT (Kementerian Pengajian Tinggi) and I'll be going as ipts representative. we'll be focusing on building water filtration system there and also computer classes. well, i need to perform as i've been given these oppurtunity, shouldnt I? ngeee~

Anyway back to the title post, girlfrenz..knowing me, I have very few friends that can be categorized as girlfriends all my life. I dont know why, but that's just plain me. since its just a few, i could actually list them out..from my time in mrsm langkawi, esyatees..in KMS, hazieqa and atiq..KUIN, well my beloved syuha and rozan..and here, of course habibah..

but since bib transferred to perlis, i've been alone and somehow i've gotten so much closer to my roomate izza..yeah, we do have fights now and then, but that's just us trying to know each other better, and recently my newfound girlfrenz ebun!, having a girlfren, taking the same course as you are are very very very precious if u are a mechanical student just like me, so i'm totally grateful and thankful as to have known this girl..ngee~ well btw, she sent me to immigration today and also afterwards we go to lunch with izza before going back to immigration to picked up my passport. while waiting for my turn, we watched sinetron mozie, and enjoying complaining and bickering all this while about how ridiculous the storyline is..well you already know how sinetron works...haha..anyway, all in all i love hanging out with them eventho its actually impromptu, and I really would like to hang out with them again.

hanging out and spending time with your girlfriends are very precious moment, so I really would like to spend time with my girlfriends as long as i can.. i want that for me cz i want to be able to make as much memory as i can with them all..please dont take that away from me and please understand...

token from immigration today izza, me, ebun, tho me, myself take almost 70% of the picture...

hari air mata sedunia (baca; dunia saya)

hari nie rase sayu, cuaca ponn mendung cm tawu2 je..hurmmm...tp yg pasti, hari nie snang sgt nangess..xtaw nape...smua start ng tdo lmbt smalam ciapkan asaimen engineering graphics..kul 5.30 pg baru tdo..tetbe plak terjaga 8.30pg, waaaaaaaaaaa, mmg da lewat la kann..xsempat nk g tutorial..mcm ironic je, pulun xtdo smalaman k siapkan asaimen, tp boleh x terjaga nak anta asaimen 2...asaimen 2 senanye kena hantar at the beginning of the tuto class..waaaaaaaaa...kemudian takut plak nk anta kat lect since dya garang..bergetar suara masa nk anta asaimen 2..haisyh wat malu je...

pastu ade kelas programming, dahla amek kelas 2 ngn bib, mane ade kawan len, bib xdtg kelas, so sy sedeyh dok sorg2, sume org ade teman sembang, cyess rase forever alone kowtt..da la byk menda bergantung kat bibb..waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...

but one thing did made my day:

its actually the pic of scc(student college committee) group fb page..cover photo grup 2, muke sy kowtt..waaaaa...hahaha..ini sume keje miss president, k.zati...gmba tersebut ditangkap awal pagi td dalam OR scc,selepas kepenatan menginterbiu applicants for level leader position..waaaaa..muke kepenatan...haha, still it made my day walaupon most of it berendam air mata..jap g ade kelas lg...*sigh*

till later, xoxo..

first time using shawl *squeee*

hello guys, i know its been a while...but today, i really feel like updating again..

well today was the first time ever I wore shawl..thanx to izza for helping me wear it..i dont really know how to style it and to be honest, the size of the shawl is just a normal one, so if i styled it, it would be short and would not cover me up as i used to cover up, with me being used to tudung labuh sort of thing..so, here's the photo..

i know, i look a bit coot..but that's how it goes...haha..till later!

freakin out

i am totally in a freaking out mode..

why???

easy, i have my first paper in less than a week, yet i havent touched anything and still behind on my revision part..why am i being this way? I am supposed to be working my a** off in order to get better result..

faratul, please remember, u, urself  have promised to urself, to work extra harder this semester as to increase ur GPA, so that u'll have a more convincing and safer cgpa to go on for another 3 years for your degree programme..yet now, u're still slacking..what have gotten into u? please fara, start, or else, u'll be very regretful..

i am actually analysing my problem to determine, the factor behind my laziness...basically, i'd like to blame it to the internet..yes, i know, its pathetic..blaming something that i should be able to have control over..i'm sorry, i am just to arrogant to blame myself..please, laziness go away, and please come the old hardworking faratul...wawawawa..

okay, i'm done complaining, now, returning to my feeble attempt in trying to focus...
wish me luck....and oh, i'm meeting my academic advisor tmr..will give u details afterward..
till later, xoxo..

faratul..

changing..

for the best...or for the worst?
lets wait until the end of this post to actually decide....

first, sorry for not writing anything for such a long time..its not that i'm occupied with anything..its just, i'm trying to be sure of my life..anyway, I owe this apologies to my future self since its the main purpose of this blog..anyway back to the issue of the tittle..

there's actually two main changes on myself that i do recognized lately..

first, i am no longer that girl who thought of keeping to herself once she is married..i no longer thinks its way better being a housewife rather than a career woman..I wanted to challenge myself now, that with the course i'm currently pursuing, a future with lots new adventure and chances of contributing to both religion and nation is accessible to me, if only i had the gut and interest to take up on it..I now realized that there is a lot more thing i wanted to achieve with life, bringing me to the fact that i am no longer eager of getting married early..what brings upon this changed mindset? basically its the environment here and certain ventures on the internet that i did late night also contribute to these changes..

second, as weird as it may seem, i am changing, from a girl who cry and call my sister because i did something bad that requires punishment on my head and shoulder, or any misbehaviour which will incur only disappointment on my parents behalf to a girl who is crying, because i wouldnt have enough money to buy her parents present for their birthday..whats funny is, my mother did call me and makes me feel better and that i dont have to buy them presents just be on my best behavior and everything will be fine...

that's all there is to it..i dont know if i'm changing for the better or the worst, cz i dont know what impact of this changes will bring impact on my future..lets just wait and see..>.<

till later, xoxo.
faratul

new post

there are 2 things going around in my mind right now, but still, i dont have time to properly write about it so, lets just put up the title for my next two post so this will be the motivation for me to really write about it....

Delta Force

her royal highness outing to KLCC with 3 knights ^^

better start packing up..going back to selangor today...*sigh* #penatnyer...

galau

haha..the post title seems weird, dont u'oll think so too? actually its a new indonesian vocab that i learned yesterday..the meaning was somewhat i thought as penasaran a while back. but then i know penasaran actually means curious..so what does galau means? its a condition when u are feeling a lot of different emotion at the same time and everything got jumbled up and you have NO IDEA at what exactly u were feeling at that time, all u know was that sick feeling in your stomach and somehow your heart seems strain..i do mean biological heart...it still goes thump-thump but in a different rythm which you are not familiar with and is changing every minute..

why am i writing about this?
basically thats how i feel right now, and i have been feeling this way for quite a while now...whats even more frustrating was i have NO IDEA at all why am i feeling this way, i have vague assumptions but nothing did fit properly....maybe because i kept lots and lots of secret...a thing that i tell one person, might be too sensitive for another person...so certain people, i just told certain thing, thus they dont really know the whole picture, thus i cannot actually make them understand..maybe, everyone would say, its easy to solve my problem, pick one person whom u trust, and dump it all to them without hesitation...but somehow, everytime i wanted to go into full gear and start rambling, my sel-preservation kicked me right in my gut and stopped all the thoughts midsentence, thus its not successfull..and maybe i always try to say what i thought the other person wanted to hear, or maybe just i'm afraid they will be judging..


well, i know, i'm being a brat and difficult and all when there are always people who would certainly be there for me..but then, I cannot say a word when prompted..i really didnt know...now, i think, the only problem is me..and only me...fara!! pull your act together and start growing up please!!! stop hurting because of stupid little things...MOVE ON!!!

******************

falling is easy, and the thrill u had was intoxicating but once u hit the ground, the pain will last for a long time and u might not recover..

repost

i have posted this before as my facebook status thus the title, i just thought i want to share it again so u'll understand...^^

❤ Girl's Language :

If She Don't Text You :
- It's Because She's Waiting For You To Text Her

When She Walks Away From You Mad :
- Follow Her

When Shes Quiet :
- Ask Her What's Wrong

When She Ignores You :
- Give Her Your Attention

When She Pushes YOU AWAY :
- Pull Her BACK

When You See Her Crying :
- Wipe Her Tears & Ask What's Wrong

When She Says Go Away :
- Just Go Close To Her & Give Her Hug ❤

need someone to talk to

how can i talk to u when i get the vibe that u just dont care? i am not that stupid..if u really cares, u would asked why when i:
1. *insertyourname*......... :'( [e.g; awak.... :'( ]
2. when  do this :) non-stop..
3. when i said i'm okay but decide to quickly drop the subject..

thats it..i miss my bff..very much.they would know me best..and they actually CARE about me..

*frustrated with all this dissapointment feelings*

random photos #5

i know, i need to really start studying, but please, just one more post..., i promise it will be very short! >.<

i LOVE that girl in pink very much, but i have quite a unique way of showing it..*sigh*

pujuk...

Knape bile us girl sediyh,  comes the word pujuk...xkrela girl tu, ur sister or ur friends or ape sahaja..sometimes they told u their problems not expecting u to have the magic or effective solution to their problem, they just seek comfort from those who they thought care about them..so, simple fact, if someone told u their problems and it's got nothing to do with u, it can only means two things..

1. they are seeking for advice, or
2. they just wanted u to give reaction as if u care...

that's all..take me for example, when I feel super sad, I called my father like I already wrote before..(didn't remember? Refresh here!) he was just laughing, but the sound of his laughter give me the feeling of warmth and suddenly I know, even if the person who made me cry doesn't care about me, I still have him..he cares about me A LOT!! as simple as that...but sometimes there is just thing u couldn't talk to ur father about.. So here where my sis and friend comes in...

so, girls and guys out there, if ur friends were obviously sad about something, if u can't do number one, just proceed to number two..it's not that hard right?

saya dah tembam..

actually i havent noticed this until yeaterday...i've heard mama and fatin saying and commenting that i looked like i've gained weight a LOT since they last saw me, but i just ignored them and convincing myself that it wasnt true..they were just jealous, i've been eating well..hahaha..but yesterday, when i was at rozan's, and there was this big mirror, where u can actually see yourself from top to bottom..after analyzing myself for a while, yeah, i came up with a conclusion, i do look chubby..*sigh* no wonder that there was this person who wished to call me bambam (short form for tembam (meaning; chubby) *-,-)

guess, i just have to start working hard to shed some of those extra fats...please let me be true to my plan..o Allah, i seek from u strength to fight with my desire to do lack of exercise and more of eating and sleeping, o Allah, please let me be strong to start fasting again every mondays and thursdays, so that i could heal both my emotional level and physical level...

go go faratul!!! that's how u do it..

******************************************

but....

hurmmmm...cn we start tommorrow? haha..

Boyfriends...

It's been a while since I last wrote....still that doesn't mean that I've forgotten all about my dearest reader (there I go again, talking like I have thousands reader, but being over imaginative doesn't hurt right?)

Back to the title for today...boyfriends...someone who are dearest to me at the time being...since I put 's' at the end of that controversial noun, i do mean it literally..it indicates plurality...so let's go through with it one by one...

Boyfriend No 1
why exactly I pick this person as my number one, his love for me were unquestionable and as far as the whole land and as deep as an ocean...he cares for me and often cry for me..he wAs the most compassionate person anyone have ever known..yet, I ignore his love...I turned away from all his advices...I shied away from his love, and sometime I do despise myself, why am I so stubborn in accepting those love...so, now, I'm trying my best to put him in the very first place (for boyfriends) in my heart...it is hard, but still I am trying my best to do so...this person was the most admirable person ever walked on earth, Prophet Muhammad p.b.u.h..(selawat dan salam buat Nabi Muhammad serta ahli keluarga dan sahabat baginda) I'd really wish to be able to meet him one day...InsyaAllah..

Boyfriend No 2
Sometimes I do think that I dont deserve such unrequited love from this person..I've never done anything that made me entitled for that vast love...all I did since I was a little girl  was just hurting him, and giving him headache with my temper tantrum, he did get totally angry with me but he still loves me...all through my crisis teenager year when I was a bit lost in finding my own identity, he didn't look at me yet he still accepts me, he help me find my own way, in his very own unique way..he cares for us like a princess..not in a way by giving us so much leisure..but by protecting us, as if an time had persons might kidnap us or hurt us...he would do anything for us his daughters...yes the person I'm talking about is Mr. Harun Hashim, my one and only caring father..I'd really wish I could make him real proud of me one day...pinky promise..

Boyfriend No 3
Here, this one is entirely a different story, he always pained me with headache, he was and still is stubborn but at times he could be very understanding, sometimes he is sweet ( usually there will be a hidden motive there) , but then what can I say, he certainly knows how to make me laugh, better yet, pisses me off...his ego was as bigger as mine, yet we do get along together...sometimes he call me sayang over the phone, just because he wanted to, and it never failed making me want to puke all my last meals out...he likes to brag, about everything just so he could look cool...he hated every guy that made me; his older sister, cries...hehe, I'm currently writing about my devilishly naughty lil brother Mohd Kautsar Harun..and also he have grown taller than I am and turn out quite good looking (just don't ever tell him I said that)...because of his tall-ness, he always pat my head when comforting me if I bawl like a baby...thehehe>.< ...aaaa, since I was already writing abou how my lil brother treat me like I'm his younger sis, I just wanted to add that,  thanx to my baby-like face...I was officially the youngest in my siblings, plus fatin is more matured than I ever did...

Boyfriend No 4
At last, we come to the end of the list, to be truthful, this spot is still empty and up for application...haha..I was reserving this last spot, but never the least, for that special someone who will do me the honor of choosing me as his 'bidadari' as Hilal put it.. :)
Honestly, this bf no 4 need to have at least the respect of bf no 2 and 3 and also really adore bf no 1..I've been liking many guys all this years, yet none really gain the respect of my bf no 2, its only logical cz none of them were man enough to face my bf no 2, just expecting me to tell my bf no 2 , the whole story...so, my future hubby, if u were reading this, please be man enough to do it the right way..

I'll be the one giving answers but that doesn't mean I'm the one you should asked the question to...

That's it for now...till later...xoxoxo

sedih

hari nie sy rase sedih, rase xdhargai..
hmmmm...mungkin slh sendiri,
niat cuma meluahkn rasa di hati,
tapi telah disalah erti..

malu
segan
sakit
sedih
benci

slalu hadir rasa ini,
cube menenangkn setiap kali,
namun, tetap terus disakiti,
adakah perlu ku mengundur diri,
kerna hati minta dilindungi,
agar xterluka lagi

cukup sudah,
lupakan sahaja,
baik,
aku buang,
tenanglah

*******************
salam ulangtahun, bg mereka yg lahir di bulan februari.. :')

whatever...chill....

weird title, dont u think? actually those two words were basically the words which never fails to ruin my mood and hurt my feelings whenever it was spoken to me...why??? easy bad memory revolving around those word...i am so sorry, to everyone, who always try to comfort me with the 'chill' word, but my mood turns really sour after that..i just cant help it..u may say i'm such a sensitive, pathetic, not matured girl...say what u want, but its just who i am...but i'm still trying to not let my bad mood caused by this two words ruin those people around me..i promise to keep it to myself..but, just so u all know, i really despise these 2 words...

okayy thats it...bye2!

risau...

here we are again, talking about the famous worrisome word - risau (worry)

I am more worried about u, than I worry for myself..please do know that...
yes, I was hurt by you, several time but I guess I know the real reason behind it..I fully understand the conflict that u are facing...but please do know that I care for u more than u'll ever knOw..be strong..

it worries me...and that feeling keep on hitting me, full force at times, but I should never be bothered by it..cz it's not proper and not my place to do so..

honestly my feelings are sO out of place that it seems like I am no longer coherent...all my words are jumbled up and my sentences are not Properly structured...I am not good in putting my raw emotions into words..not like how I used to long time before...I just hope that u'll find ur peace and never feel lonely ever again...

puisi sepi:

Kulari ke hutan kemudian menyanyiku
Kulari ke pantai kemudian teriakku
Sepi sepi dan sendiri
Aku benci
Aku ngin bingar
Aku mau di pasar
Bosan aku dengan penat
Dan enyah saja kau pekat
Seperti berjelaga jika ku sendiri
Pecahkan saja gelasnya
Biar ramai

I don't know why I put puisi rangga...as I say I'm worried sick that what I wrote doesn't seem to make sense at all...

P/s: please be happy, I always love seeing u smile... :)(;

random photos #4

photoS were taken when we jalan2 in melaka, this photos were actually from hari jalan2 sedunia special edition feat. fatin (ma sis^^) yeah, i know i didnt update u guys about hari jalan2 sedunia siri 2 and diz one..maybe later...

photoS were taken by Izza Farhana

thats all for now,

toodles..

waiting...

arghh...its exciting and frustrating as well...please arrived soon..i've been expecting to have u for so long..oh please, oh please, let me have it by today..

flood-it

a new game...really addictive and i am currently loving it..and for the first time after too many trials,

I WON!!!!!

wohoooooo!!!

the art of telling whats obvious

assalammualaikum...

everyone have done mistakes in their life..no one is perfect, but those who realized their mistakes and try to be better are the ones i salute and respect the most...

why talk about mistake today?

i dunno, maybe because i just dis some mistakes...somehow i do know its my mistake..

okayy, here's the thing, someone asked me to go out with him (a movie)..i tried to decline by giving so many reasons, like that would be during exam week and i'm going to go back early..gladly the guy get the message and say its okay...

i know where i did wrong...i didnt state clearly my ground and leaving spaces for that guy to try and asked again..yes i know, i should tell them downright, that i would never go out with guys cz my religion doesnt permits something like dat eventhough just as friends..i know, but i didnt do it bcz, i dont want him to feel bad..i dont want to hurt his feeling, after all he helped me a lot when no one else didnt...yes, maybe perhaps if he ever tried and asked me again, i'll just tell the truth...

that's not exactly why i decided to write this post..its just some background info before the main point...see, i know my mistake, u know what i did was mistake, but do u really have to yell "hey, that's a mistake" with those judging tones right to my face? No..lets take another example..u have a girl friend, who didnt cover her aurat properly, and sometimes she would say to u that she feels something when she see u covered your aurat right...would u say yes, you are wrong by not covering ur aurat properly, and u say it in a tone which is clearly judging....tell me, would she ever listen to u? no. she wouldnt. worst, if she was hurt by your accusation and she will never feel guilty for not covering her aurat and she stop being close to u...when she become far from u, she will never feel something again since u are the reason she feels a tinge guilt for not covering her aurat in the first place...are u going to held the responsibility?

lets see it in another situation, when she told u bout her guilt, u say "that's feeling was given to u by Allah, Allah wanted you to be closer to him. try not to ignore that feeling." and then starts advicing her in a way that she could take it and will gladly follow...sometimes, i do think different background makes us different in dealing with the situation...using the same case as example; if u were used to covering your aurat since u were little, the act of covering your aurat properly will come naturally for u, as easy as breathing....and sometimes u couldnt comprehend why ur friend have hard time just trying to cover her aurat, and then u start judging--->thats not exactly the right thing to do if u wanted to show how beautiful Islam is. this is just my opinion.

furthermore, everyone is entitled for their own opinion, this is what i thought, u dont have to agree with me, u could disagree with me, but then the way u express yo're disagreement should be mature and not judging that my opinion is so wrong, and only yours are right..

bottom-line is, when u heard of action that ur friends, relative or someone u cared about and u did not agree with their action, before voicing out your retort, stops for a while and take a minute to think, why did he/she did that? why didnt he/she thinks like u did? was it because of different background and perception? there are a lot to be considered...i am not saying that u cannot say anything when ur friend did something wrong, yes, u could tell him/her that its wrong, but do it nicely, do not judge her/him..mind your words and intonnation, insyaAllah, ur friend will understand and take your advice..as simple as that..

i am just saying, this is what i thought...i might be wrong in certain thing, correct me if u will but please do it in a good manner...

إنما بعثت لأتم صالح الاخلق

”Sesungguhnya aku diutus untuk menyempurnakan akhlak yang sholeh”. (HR: Bukhari dalam shahih Bukhari kitab adab, Baihaqi dalam kitab syu’bil Iman dan Hakim). quoted from: here

******************************************

please dont judge me..if what i did was wrong:
tell me and i will listen
shout at me and i will rebel
advice me with hikmah and insyaAllah i will follow

p/s: i am still learning to be better :')

before i go and study material science, i just have to post this...

i look weird without my specs..like seriously...need proof? look at this:

and oh, btw, this photo was taken in times square...i went there with fatin and we did enjoy ourselves..tremendously, just before that phonecall..*sigh* mama will always be mama...back to the point, i do look weird right? hehe..

really have to stop web surfing now, i promised myself, i'll be revising material science tonite..so bye!

guys

hello everyone....its been a while, oh wait, i forgot i just post something yesterday and i already forgot about it..nvm..actually something has been going on now in my life and i dunno where to put it...this is actually a secret..is it? if it is, i shouldnt be posting it here right? haha...

let me think..

hmm...seriously maybe not now...and please do not wander..i am not saying anything bout that "guys" here..and if u were wondering, i did write guy with s..which could only mean....haha...

i'm not saying anything..just have to go now...bye2 then...

long time no write

haha...seriously, i missed my blog, and i missed u all, those who actually read my blog..if any of u are reading it...i am fine actually, just i dont want to write...why? simple, i really thought my update would not be educational and would not give benefit to those who reads it...the same dilemma goes when i wanted to update my FB status, which is why i seldom updated my stats in FB...but then i think back, this blog is private not like my FB wall, so eventough i babble in here, no one will know, except for u..yess i now, u are reading this...but if u are lookiing for something benificial to read and gain knowledge from, please do stop and do not continue reading. cz this would probably be another stupid rant from a shallow-minded girl which apparently me..hahaha..so stop! and thanx for stopping by.....
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for those who stay and continue reading, please be aware, i am totally shallow and childish and u might be sick of my complaining and babble about my life, but u stayed and read anyway which makes u the one i LOVED the most!! muahx....hahaha

right now, i'm actually panicking since exams is just around the corner and i havent been studying...i miss myself in KUIN, especially during first and 2nd sem..when i really have fun studying...but now? i dont really know...*sigh* i'm almost done with all of my assignment, just 2 presentation left on the list to do, then i promise, i'll study extra hard..hoping to do so....speaking of presentation, i have one tmr, and i already promised my gang (group actually, but somehow it sound cooler saying 'gang'..haha) that we would practice at 8 pm, which is....OMG its 7:59 already, i really have to go...there's still so much to be shared...nvm..later...

love ya!