its raining

i'm feeling very down..i'm supposed to write bout something..pour my heart out..but i'm not really in the mood as what i thought already complicated getting more and more tangled leaving me completely wasted and tired..hmm..wish me a good night sleep so tomorrow i can be better..

you steal the glow from everyone else

now i cant properly see anyone

without having you in assisting

it would be unfair to see other personality in ur glow

yet theres nothing i could do

hmmmmmm.....

p/s: i've made my own breakfast today ^^

call?

its 0047 , im alone at home and i'm still not asleep..sitting in front of my acer aspire 4920 reliving the moment i made a new friend..anNa alanie..hehe..anyway, i am watching first wife club on ch 393 when my home phone rung...my first thought..is it my boyfriend? most unlikely cz i dont have one...but then i answered...yes, it was indeed my boyfriend..the one and only who had been faithful to me..thru ups and downs..who adore me with all his heart, calling to be sure i'm asleep..

kalau ayah balik, x tido lagi, ayah kacau sampai xboleh tidor sampai ke pagi..lab report 2 wat je esok

hehe...ao i need to really fast post this and shut everything off..i feel funny, cz usually we would get a wake up call..but me, i get a sleep call as well..haha...dats my boyfriend!! lamja chingu...saranghae~

today i swing, gazing to the sky, wishing i could be released from u..

i swing harder, hoping i am among the sky, still i'm hanging to the swing which is you..

i want to be free but what can i do?

should i just cut the rope that i'm hanging on so tight?

what if it bring me smack down to the earth..hurting even more..

its embarassing

really it is..why? try being me, a 19-year old girl..yet today's breakfast, ayah is the one who prepared it..huhu..yeah..i know..it should be me, but maybe ayah who already know about my lembab-ness doesnt want to waste time and take the cooking responbilities into his hand...so, to cover my embarassment, i try my best being effective in what i'm allowed and left to do which is cleaning up after ayah..hmm..but seriously. maybe because i'm so embarassed that my lembab-ness doesnt show at all..i did all the work effectively and efficiently and i'm proud of myself..haha..actually i need to get something straight..its not like i am lembab..its just i like to take my own sweet time doing stuff..is it really that bad? hmmphh...yeah, i guess..fine! i'll try to be more un-lembap..haha..thats alll i guess, better start doing my la report..till later..

chaotic

i'm all alone in my home, mom together with sis and bro are at selangor now...father has gone to work, so i'm all alone which is why i feel that my feelings are rather messed up and chaotic...why? i dont really have a definite answer for that...i've been trying to concentrate, repeating zikr to tranquil my ragging feeling, and it work, but sadly it doesnt last long...sometimes i do feel alone..so much alone...being a big sister is so much work...being hajar is such a burden....sometimes i want to be farah..back to old times..and if i'm being true to myself, there is a tiny bit of me wishing i could be ain...but reality check! i cant....what should i do to distract myself? goguma wont be out until this saturday, yet i need to wait for at least 2 days for it to be subbed, M3 also, its out yet none with eng subbed..so how?