at last...

sorry for all,,,its been a long time since i last updated my blog...i was busy nursing my broken heart..haha..doesnt it sound emo? well it surely is..someone dear to me once said, u would never heal from a wound until u get pass ur ego and really admit how badly u were hurt by that wound and eventually try to get it over with..so up till now, this is the only time i had the courage to really admit it..yes! i was badly hurt. really2 bad. i cant even lie to myself that i was ok. yes, i do make myself busy so that i'm not bothered by it but somehow, my body still sense the tension i was feeling. that explains how i got real sick twice in two months time..father was really worried for me..but dont weri apa, i'm doing okay now. i hope so. how come i got the courage now, well actually it was from that time in a beach. i went there with mama, kosar and his friends, and also two of my closest friend or should i say "little sisters", rozan and shuha. i'm not used to have girlfriends, and i do know now why, but it seems fun and really comforting being in their presence. they were cute and really adorable. chincha2.. i wrote his name and how i felt about him on the sand, hoping the wave would wash them away, after wroting i waited for the wave to wash them away and praying if it would washed away and gone its a sign that i'm capable of forgetting him, so iwaited, and waited the wave did come but somehow it didnt touches his name.. it was like his name was invicible and permanently etched.. i still wait..i'm getting nervous and after waiting bout 20 minutes, the savior wave did came and wash him away..phew!! at last...goodbye, though i know t's still hard, he is still there untouched in my memory, still it was a releif to actually let him go, and can be happy for him and expecting that he get the best for him...so, now, i need to move on and try to adjust myself to my new world..alone as it is..Hey! i'm not really alone, i still have my ma and pa, my brothers and sisters and also my little dong seng..bot of them..i love all of u now! always and forever. lets just keep him as a memory. the sweetes memory of my teenage life..goodbye for now and thank you....saranghaeyo...