the art of telling whats obvious

assalammualaikum...

everyone have done mistakes in their life..no one is perfect, but those who realized their mistakes and try to be better are the ones i salute and respect the most...

why talk about mistake today?

i dunno, maybe because i just dis some mistakes...somehow i do know its my mistake..

okayy, here's the thing, someone asked me to go out with him (a movie)..i tried to decline by giving so many reasons, like that would be during exam week and i'm going to go back early..gladly the guy get the message and say its okay...

i know where i did wrong...i didnt state clearly my ground and leaving spaces for that guy to try and asked again..yes i know, i should tell them downright, that i would never go out with guys cz my religion doesnt permits something like dat eventhough just as friends..i know, but i didnt do it bcz, i dont want him to feel bad..i dont want to hurt his feeling, after all he helped me a lot when no one else didnt...yes, maybe perhaps if he ever tried and asked me again, i'll just tell the truth...

that's not exactly why i decided to write this post..its just some background info before the main point...see, i know my mistake, u know what i did was mistake, but do u really have to yell "hey, that's a mistake" with those judging tones right to my face? No..lets take another example..u have a girl friend, who didnt cover her aurat properly, and sometimes she would say to u that she feels something when she see u covered your aurat right...would u say yes, you are wrong by not covering ur aurat properly, and u say it in a tone which is clearly judging....tell me, would she ever listen to u? no. she wouldnt. worst, if she was hurt by your accusation and she will never feel guilty for not covering her aurat and she stop being close to u...when she become far from u, she will never feel something again since u are the reason she feels a tinge guilt for not covering her aurat in the first place...are u going to held the responsibility?

lets see it in another situation, when she told u bout her guilt, u say "that's feeling was given to u by Allah, Allah wanted you to be closer to him. try not to ignore that feeling." and then starts advicing her in a way that she could take it and will gladly follow...sometimes, i do think different background makes us different in dealing with the situation...using the same case as example; if u were used to covering your aurat since u were little, the act of covering your aurat properly will come naturally for u, as easy as breathing....and sometimes u couldnt comprehend why ur friend have hard time just trying to cover her aurat, and then u start judging--->thats not exactly the right thing to do if u wanted to show how beautiful Islam is. this is just my opinion.

furthermore, everyone is entitled for their own opinion, this is what i thought, u dont have to agree with me, u could disagree with me, but then the way u express yo're disagreement should be mature and not judging that my opinion is so wrong, and only yours are right..

bottom-line is, when u heard of action that ur friends, relative or someone u cared about and u did not agree with their action, before voicing out your retort, stops for a while and take a minute to think, why did he/she did that? why didnt he/she thinks like u did? was it because of different background and perception? there are a lot to be considered...i am not saying that u cannot say anything when ur friend did something wrong, yes, u could tell him/her that its wrong, but do it nicely, do not judge her/him..mind your words and intonnation, insyaAllah, ur friend will understand and take your advice..as simple as that..

i am just saying, this is what i thought...i might be wrong in certain thing, correct me if u will but please do it in a good manner...

إنما بعثت لأتم صالح الاخلق

”Sesungguhnya aku diutus untuk menyempurnakan akhlak yang sholeh”. (HR: Bukhari dalam shahih Bukhari kitab adab, Baihaqi dalam kitab syu’bil Iman dan Hakim). quoted from: here

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please dont judge me..if what i did was wrong:
tell me and i will listen
shout at me and i will rebel
advice me with hikmah and insyaAllah i will follow

p/s: i am still learning to be better :')